I confess. This adoption has been the hardest for me yet. To say that I am absolutely aching to make the first trip to see our children is an understatement. Sadly though, there has been no update and as far as we know, we are still just waiting on one piece of paperwork to be signed. As soon as that is done, I should be able to travel fairly quickly. This wait is stretching my faith big time. In my heart, I know my God is in control of all things and that this delay has not taken Him by surprise. But honestly? Knowing where my children are living, the condition Hasya is in, and feeling totally helpless to do anything to make things go faster, well, it’s just hard!
I guess it’s just the journey of faith!
The journey which, most times, makes zero sense to the human heart…but infinite sense to the LORD!
With the burden on my heart and the longing to get to my children waiting overseas has come a season of just being still and waiting patiently (or not so patiently) on the Lord.
A season of turning off my computer and focusing on these precious ones whom He has blessed me with.
I have been feeling a stirring in my heart recently. A stirring to be even more intentional in spending quality time with my lovies–for I know so deep down that before we know it, the family dynamics will once again shift as we adjust to another new normal with two extra blessings in our home.
We’re super excited!
Our days have been sometimes busy. Sometimes lazy. Always together.
Having my Dad and Beth here has been a blessing from the Lord. It’s been wonderful to have extended family to share our summer with. They have just one more week with us before making the long trek back to South Africa.
I am so thankful for the gift of quality time my children have had with family.
God has been so good to minister to my heart and pour out His grace in this season. His Word is always the same…
“Be still and KNOW that I am God!” ~Psalm 46:10
Being still is seriously one of the hardest things for me. I cannot (cannot!) sit still. I tend to come to the Lord with all my requests and the cries of my heart.
I talk. I cry out. I plead.
And way too often, I forget.
To simply be still.
To ponder.
To reflect.
To wait patiently for the Lord to move, to show His faithfulness.
To listen to His gentle voice calming my anxious heart as I yearn for good news from a faraway land.
To trust in His perfect timing in all things.
In Chapter 3 of Ecclesiastes, the Lord tells us that there is a time and a season for everything under heaven.
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to love and a time to hate,
It’s the beautiful ebb and flow of life–always shifting, always changing, never the same.
Yet always for our good!
This is my season of being still.
Of waiting.
Of trusting.
Of digging deep in my faith and running to the well that never runs dry.
It’s been good. Time away from my overflowing e-mail and computer has given me more time to focus on the people I love…and the changes I need to make in my own life. Getting back to living intentionally, with absolute purpose, is always a good thing.
It’s so easy for me to lose my way. I stumble. I fall. I run on empty. I get overwhelmed by the requests for help and the burdens which other families carry as they journey their own roads to bringing their children home. I long, with all my heart, to help everyone, but just don’t know how.
And so often I lose sight of what is truly important in my own life.
“Be still and KNOW that I am LORD!” ~Psalm 46:10
I needed, once again, to make some changes. To live with purpose.
I am two months into getting healthier and taking better care of myself again. I finally dragged myself back to the gym. It has been wonderful! I am feeling so much healthier, have way more energy, and am loving having those insanely early mornings to myself–it’s just me, my iPod, and precious moments with the LORD.
When I feel fitter and healthier, I am a way better wife and mother! Losing a few extra unwanted pounds is just an added bonus.
With the constant ebb and flow of family life comes inevitable adjustments. Changes which need to be made in order for every member to receive what they need and to help them become all whom God has created them to be. As a new school year rapidly approaches, we are excited to make a few changes to this coming year. Of course we’ll still be homeschooling, but have found a wonderful option for our family–one where we feel our big kids will blossom, grow, and be challenged.
I’ll share more on that soon.
My heart is at peace in all things.
I am learning (sometimes the hard way) that God’s timing is always, always perfect.
I am learning to wait a little more patiently.
To embrace each and every season the Father has me in.
For I know…..
That seasons never last for very long.
That my God always fulfills His promises.
And I am learning to trust my Father in a deeper, more meaningful way.
Trusting Him that Hasya and Kael are being held safely in the palm of His loving hands until we can eventually get to them.
I’ll continue to trust Him in all these things–in every burden on my heart and every longing I feel. I’ll make a choice each and every morning that this day matters…to the LORD, and to the ones He has given me for such a short time here on this earth.
I’m so thankful for His grace.
His amazing grace which catches me when I fall and His mercy that knows no bounds.
Standing on His promise that there is a time and a season for all things.
And looking forward to that beautiful day when I will be able to hold my sweet new treasures in my arms, look back, and see the fingerprints of a God who does all things well…even when it comes to timing.
