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Adeye Salem

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abiding

October 3, 2014 By Adéye

It’s been one of those weeks.  The kind when you realize once again that you really haven’t totally figured out that whole “Abide in Me” thing.  I am such a work in progress!

I started packing up our house last week only to find out a few days later that we won’t be moving after all.  We discovered some major structural issues in the house that we were hoping to buy.  The repairs would cost a whole lot of money to rectify.  The rot under the foundation is bad.  Very bad!  And so we had to let the house go.  We’re back on a house-hunting mission.  Again.  It’s so hard to find homes that are affordable and have decent-sized yards here.  We have always lived debt free (other than our mortgage) and refuse to get into a situation where we feel like all we do is live to pay a high mortgage.  So not worth it.  We’ll continue to store our treasure in heaven.

God knows.  Of this I am absolutely confident.  The season of stretching continues and in this too He is a good and faithful God. He is good when life feels fantastic, and He is good when our answer from heaven is no.  The journey of faith means that we place our lives in His hands and trust that even when things don’t work out as we had hoped they would, it’s really for our good.  Chuck Swindoll once said that, “Nothing reaches us without first passing through the hands of a loving God.”  That is good enough for me.

His grace still amazes me.

Anthony and I have discovered that we are the absolute worst at selfie videos. We’re definitely not selfie people, but trying to do a selfie video is just so funny. We have been trying for the past three days to do a video about our embryo adoption as part of the project we’re working on.  An epic fail! Seriously! We end up giggling every time and have to start all over again. Take # 74 tonight.

Speaking of our newest adoption, it’s been interesting, to say the least.  It’s heartbreaking to me how easily life can be ended–simply discarded.  Just like that! I’ll share about that in a post of its own soon.

Haven continues to love her new school.  No words can express how thankful we are that she has found a safe place to learn and grow.  It’s been a blessing from heaven.  Some have asked me if all of our children are in school now.  No, all four little ones are with me during the day.  I’m so not ready to send them to school.  That may change some day, but for now we feel absolute peace to keep them home with me.  They get their therapies at home and have busy little lives learning new things every day.  Each precious angel is such a gift to us.  They are all growing so quickly.  I still get tearful when I think about where they could be today.  My heart cannot help but ache for the many, many children who still wait for someone to come for them.

I cannot believe that winter is just around the corner again.  And then it’ll be Christmas.  Time seems to be flying by. We’ve started our immune-boosting protocol that we did last year with all of our little ones at this time of year.  Last year they got through the winter so much easier thanks to amazing supplements and a very healthy diet. We’ll see how this year goes.  Prayerfully, no croup or respiratory issues again!

I’m finally going to be switching my blog to a WordPress site.  So excited about that (even though it’s way more technical and my skills in that department are seriously lacking)!

In case you don’t follow along on Facebook, I’ll leave you with some happiness.  What a delight this lovie is to us!  Yes, she’s busy and never, ever stops. Ever! But we would not change that for anything in the world.  She’s our spunky little love and we treasure her just the way she is.  Sweetest little blessing from the hands of God is she.

How far our sweet Hailee has come in the past four years!  It just amazes me when we think about where she started out her life. Only God!

“Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.”  ~~  John 15

 


Filed Under: Homeschooling, Kael's Adoption

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Twelve years ago, I Skyped Anthony from my cold, d Twelve years ago, I Skyped Anthony from my cold, dreary apartment in Ukraine. I had just met our newest daughters and could not hold back the tears."I just don't know if I can be Hailee's mother," I told him that day. "I don't know if I have what it takes to parent her. What if I fail her?" I asked him through so many tears. I had just discovered that Hailee had been drugged with an adult tranquillizing drug for her entire five years of life. She could not handle being held, and she screamed for most of my visit. Being taken out of the only environment she knew--the confines of a crib--was absolutely terrifying. She pulled her ears until they were raw and infected. She banged her head on anything near to self-soothe. She could not eat solid food. At five years old, she weighed just eleven pounds. Back then, I questioned a million times whether I could be the mother Hailee so desperately needed me to be. I felt so inadequate for the calling. Goodness! It's been a journey! We have both grown and learned how to live our best life together. We've succeeded and we've failed. Looking back, Hailee has been one of my greatest teachers in this life. I have learned so much being her mom. But more than anything, I have seen the hand of a faithful, loving, merciful Father as I have shared my life with this little girl. And I have seen that when we give God our yes--so often afraid and unsure and positively terrified over all of the unknowns--He turns it into our greatest blessing. I just cannot imagine my world without this little darling in it. She keeps me on my toes, ensures that we are always laughing over something that she does, will dance with us day and night, and gives the very best hugs that make any hard day better. Today, on her seventeenth birthday, we count the enormous blessing that is Hailee. We thank God for the gift of this child who just makes life so much sweeter. Happy, happy birthday, sweetest Hailee! I am so, so grateful that twelve years ago, your precious Dad reminded me that I had what it took to be your mom. Because being your voice, your caregiver, your dance partner, your hugger, and your mom is, by far, one of my greatest delights in this life!
Growing up, I never really wanted to be a mother. Growing up, I never really wanted to be a mother. In many ways, the thought of raising another human terrified me. What if I failed? What if I couldn't be the mother a child needed me to be? I was so afraid of all the things that could possibly go wrong. Goodness, was I wrong! Now that I have young adults, I look back on my mothering journey and honestly, it makes me tearful. I'm 100% sure that I have failed these sweet humans more times than I care to remember. I know for sure that there have been times when I handled situations all wrong and wished that I could have had a redo. But children don't need perfect parents! There is no such thing. God chose me--in all of my brokenness and with my countless flaws. This Mother's Day, I am so thankful for the enormous amount of grace that these five extend me every single day. They see past the things that I see as my weaknesses and love me so sweetly. Motherhood is such a precious gift from God. My highest calling. And though I never knew it and could not see it all those years ago, I am so thankful that God knew that I needed these five blessings so much more than they would ever need me. Because He's just so very kind like that. I hope you all had a beautiful Mother's Day. ❤️
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She's fiercely independent. Picks out her own clot She's fiercely independent. Picks out her own clothes. Can figure out anything on her own. Got the stubborn gene. Loves to help. Can rearrange an entire house in five minutes flat (and keeps us guessing where everything went). Has to have everything in its rightful place. Adores her siblings. And her puppy. Is the boss of everyone. Thrives on routine. Keeps everyone (animals included) on their toes and doing what they need to do. Loves pretty dresses and accessories. Forgives easily and teaches me to do the same. Yells at Hailee a gazillion times a day for messing up the playroom...again..."Oh, Hailee! No!" She is absolute perfection and I am so thankful that she's mine. ❤️
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