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acceptance, not understanding

There are times when the journey in Christ makes absolutely no sense in the natural.  Those times when our human hearts simply cannot understand the why’s.

Why did sweet Chrissie go to be with Jesus when so many people were praying?

Why did Nikita pass away all alone in an oprhanage when his mommy and daddy were working so hard to get to him just as soon as possible?

Why did the Father take Zac to be with Him when his dear parents had such faith to believe that he would receive his miracle heart?

Why?

The last two days have been so hard for me.  I am human.  I too ask the why questions.  I too struggle sometimes with why God allows things to happen. 

I don’t have the answers.  But the longer I am a Christian, the more I am coming to get something in my heart…

I am not meant to understand. Only to accept!

Gosh, sometimes that is so hard, isn’t it?  Not just in loss, but it all the things that affect our lives on a daily basis.  We are God’s chosen people, his beloved bride, the ones He is passionately in love with.  Yet, we are not immune to suffering.  We are not sheltered from the harsh realities of this world.  In fact, the Bible tells us that the storms of this life WILL come.  We’re guaranteed it. 

Sometimes (no, actually, many times) things just do not go as we had so prayed they would.  Sometimes God’s answer is no.  Sometimes we have to let go of the things so close to our hearts–even a child.  Sometimes our answer from heaven is so not what we prayed it would be–even with faith that can move mountains. 

I often hear people say that their prayers went unanswered, that God never came through for them.  Not true!  God always answers our prayers.  God is always faithful to come through for His people.  Sometimes His answer is just not what we had hoped for.  Sometimes God answers prayers differently. 

And we may never understand.  We just have to accept.

Did God heal Zac as many, many people prayed He would?  Yes, of course He did!  Just not here on earth.  I believe with everything that is within me that sweet Zac is running on streets made of gold and worshipping His Maker in heaven.  God always, always answers our prayers.  Sometimes though, His answer is just so very different to what we desperately want.

Trusting in our sovereign Father with all our hearts and coming to a place of utter dependence on Him is what matters…no matter the outcome or what the answer may be. The outcome is not our concern.  Absolute faith is what pleases God.

Does that make the journey easier?  No, it doesn’t.  We are created in the image of a Father who loves passionately.  He gave us that ability too.  We love, we feel, we grieve, we ache, we mourn….just as He does.  Jesus wept. So do we. 

Those of us who follow Christ have such hope when God answers differently to what we prayed.  Even in pain and suffering, we have glorious hope. And we have the Comforter, the Holy Spirit, to ease our burden and bring healing to our hearts when the times of trial come.  Love Himself reminds us of the glorious day when we will all be reunited with those we love–when every tear will be wiped away that there will be no more suffering, no more pain.

I believe that my God uses everything we will ever go through for His glory.  Even death.  Even loss.  As I think about sweet Zac’s short life here on earth, I cannot help but ache for my dear friend.  Oh, to hold your baby boy for 21 hours, and then to have to give him back to the Lord…my human heart cannot even imagine!  I have never walked so excruciating painful a road. But God. I see the countless lives which have been deeply touched because of one baby boy who needed prayer.  I have heard stories of people finding their way back to Jesus, and hearts which have been softened to pray once again. I have seen the glorious body of Christ come together in strength and power to pray when there was a need.

One sweet lady left a comment here on my blog yesterday.  It resonated within me and I thought I would share it with you all.

Adéye – just last night as I was praying for Zac’s healing, I kept feeling that a miracle was at hand, but a miracle of a different kind.  Maybe Zac exhibited the Lord’s work in the short time that he was on Earth, maybe a medical worker was led to Christ by the faith of this baby’s family?   Maybe a doctor was led to NOT push prenatal diagnosis termination?  I don’t know – but I felt, and feel now, that a miracle of a different kind was on the books.  Not the miracle that we all prayed for – of a whole heart for Zac – but something else.  Nothing happens that the Lord doesn’t plan for.  And because of the love and faith of this family, how can the results be anything but good?  They might not know it yet, but…amazing things will be reaped in abundance because of their faith.

Our God IS a miracle-working God.  Nothing can or ever will change that.  Yes, Zac’s life was a miracle.  The fact that he even survived as long as he did was a miracle.  God gave his parents such a beautiful gift of having their son hold tightly onto their fingers and have his little eyes follow them around the room.  Their lives will forever be impacted by the hours they spent with their boy.  Their testimony of faith, of courage, of never taking their eyes off their Savior and of absolute dependence on God will forever impact the lives of others. Their rock solid faith has reminded many of us what is important. 

As I have been pondering all that is in my heart today, God reminded me of Jim Elliot–the missionary killed by the very people he was trying to evangelize in South America.  Such a devastating loss for his family. A man taken way too soon.  A few years later his wife went back to that very same village–back to the people who murdered her husband–and she showed them the love of Christ.  She loved them.  She forgave them.  She even led to the Lord the very man who thrust the fatal blow of his spear into her husband.  Many, many people from that village have since accepted Jesus as their Lord and Savior.  Love came down.

“God never witholds from His child that which His love and wisdom call good. God’s refusals are always merciful — “severe mercies” at times but mercies all the same. God never denies us our hearts desire except to give us something better.”   Elisabeth Elliot

God’s redeeming love.  His grace and mercy that my human heart cannot fathom. Ultimately, it’s all for His glory…even when we don’t understand.

Though I will never understand God’s ways.  I only need to accept them.  And that’s what I choose to do–in all things.

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