all about Hasya

This week has been amazing in every way—a testimony to God’s goodness and His ability to reach down from heaven and bring supernatural peace to even the most profoundly delayed, institutionalized teenagers.

I had no idea what to expect as I waited in the orphanage to meet Hasya last Monday. From her last medical update, we knew that she had been put on a different diet three months ago that included more solid food. We heard that she was finally gaining some weight. It was so wonderful to see with my own eyes that she is indeed a little bigger. Obviously for a girl who will be fifteen in February, she is painfully tiny—but when you only weigh a few pounds and then gain a few more, it ALL adds up to something wonderful. Each pound added to her little body is like gold.

The first thing that struck me was her beautiful big brown eyes. Oh, they are just gorgeous!

Hailee has strabismus, but nothing like Hasya has. Her eyes go all over the place. She cannot focus on anything. I’m not sure if that would be classified strabismus or lazy eye (or something else?). I am hoping that with surgery we can help her to see better. I have no idea how much she can even see.  She reaches for things which are nearby, but I’m not sure about her ability to see things farther away.

One of the first things I noticed, even through the pajamas she was wearing last Monday, was that one leg is larger than the other from the thigh down to her knee. Her little knee looks swollen.I asked about it and was told that two months ago she had a fracture on her femur (no one can tell me exactly how it happened). She was taken to the hospital and a cast was put on her leg. She wore the cast for 25 days and it was removed about a month ago. I asked the director why her leg was still so swollen after such a long time and offered to take her to an orthopedic surgeon myself to get it checked out. They refused. She said she was fine and that it would be looked at in September.

Obviously Hasya has very brittle bones. We are definitely going to have to look into ways to build her bone mass—if that’s even possible. There is also the concern about osteoporosis. As for her little leg, I don’t know why in the world it is still swollen, even after having it in a cast. I’m just praying that it is not painful.  That would be so awful!

She’s skinny! Her little legs are so very thin. And her arms too. Everything she eats is very pureed—the first foods a baby eats. I almost gagged on some of the stuff they feed her. Oh my word! Every day I asked the caretakers if I could feed her myself. One day they gave me a bowl with a little bread soaked in cold water until it was all mushy.To that they added ground up feta cheese. That was it! They told me to mash it up with the back of a spoon until it was a porridge consistency. The stuff smelled ghastly—even Hasya struggled to eat it and I truly could not blame her.

I am definitely going home to start making fresh fruit and veggie purees and stocking up the freezer with nutritious food. Kael also only eats purees. Getting good nutrition into these kids is going to be a top priority.

Hasya’s teeth are completely atrocious. I honestly don’t think they have ever been brushed in all of her fourteen years. The plaque buildup is thick and caked on her teeth.To me, it looks like there are several baby teeth which have not come out yet. As a result, her teeth have grown in all over the place. Some are completely twisted around just to fit in a small gap. I would imagine that several teeth are going to have to be removed. It also looks like some of her teeth have broken off—I’m sure that they too are weakened from lack of good nutrition and dental hygiene for so many years. I cannot even imagine the nasty bacteria in her mouth.

And then there are the contractures. Poor little darling. Her muscles are so contracted and atrophied from lack of movement. Her legs cannot straighten all the way and her arms are constantly bent.Hasya can definitely move her elbows, but only ever so slightly. I know that extensive physical therapy will help, but again, I don’t know how much permanent damage has been done.

Her little body is so, so stiff. I can get her into a sitting position by holding her back, but sadly, she is unable to hold her head up. Her neck muscles are pretty much non-existent and she cannot lift her head up for more than a second or two at a time. I can get her to sit on my lap for a little while, but then she pushes back to lie down. Lying down is all she knows. She tires very easily. It will take time to get her stronger.

Any child who has lived in an institution for a fair amount of time will pick up habits and behaviors—it’s their way of dealing with the hand they have been dealt. With our Hailee it was (and still is) rocking, scratching behind her left ear, and various other little behaviors she has. Hasya has known no other life but in a crib…for fourteen long years! I wondered what she would do to self-soothe.I learned quickly that she is a hand-biter. Badly! Her fingers are so full of huge callouses from constantly being bitten. She literally sticks her fingers way down into her mouth…all day long! It’s just the way she copes with life.

But here’s the good news. And there definitely is so much to be thankful for! On Monday Hasya was so completely freaked out. Being taken out of her crib was terribly frightening for her—that is the only world she knows.She cried constantly and was so very agitated those first two days.The stimulation was more than she could bear. Tuesday was the same—I tried to take her outside for a walk in the stroller (just to see how she would do)…disaster! She freaked out completely.

By Wednesday she turned a corner. Something in her brain realized that she was safe with me, and that being gently touched was actually quite a lovely thing (in very small doses!). That afternoon she was so much more relaxed with me. Thursday was the same. In fact, when it was time to leave on Thursday evening, I laid her back down in her crib and she cried! She definitely wanted out.

What else can I tell you?

Oh, she is ticklish! To hear the sweet little giggles coming out from behind the hand in her mouth…like music to my ears. This week I have seen little glimpses of a personality just waiting to come out. Inside that tiny body is a little girl just waiting to come out and explore the world around her. I can hardly wait to see this little flower begin to blossom.

It was so, so hard to say goodbye today. As I laid her back down in the usual position (flat on her back), my heart ached! The thought of her lying just like that for three or four more months…oh my goodness! So many have asked me when we will finally be able to bring Kael and Hasya home. We really don’t know.It is all going to depend on how quickly the remaining paperwork gets approved by both governments.

Some more good news is that Hasya has recently been given a “baba” (a grandmother who helps with her care). I met the woman and she seems very nice. I asked her to please try and take Hasya out of the crib more and more in the next few months. I explained to her the need to try and prepare Hasya for the journey home, and getting accustomed to being out of the crib would be such an enormous help. Hopefully she will try and help in that way. She also feeds Hasya and I urged her to please try and give her more water—she was so desperately dehydrated when I got to the orphanage on Monday.

As I read through Hasya’s long list of “issues,” I realize that to many people it’s a LOT! And it is. We’re talking about a child who has literally been starved, neglected and rejected by the ones who were assigned to care for her. She has been let down by people—completely! Developmentally, in realistic terms, I would put her at no more than a three-month-old baby regarding her abilities. She is completely dependent. Anthony and I know with all of our hearts that the road to rehabilitating this angel is going to be long, stretching, and most probably the most challenging journey God has ever called us to walk. We went into this adoption fully prepared for absolutely anything…and fully relying on the ONE who called us to walk this road.

But here’s the thing. I only share Hasya’s condition with you all because I have been flooded with e-mails asking me to share how she is and what my observations are about her health and development. So many have been praying, and we are so grateful!  Anthony and I don’t look at Hasya and SEE disability, profound delays, dreadfully poor health, malnutrition, filthy teeth, or brokenness!

We SEE Hasya! We see her through the eyes of Jesus…fearfully and wonderfully made to be who He has created her to be. I look at our beautiful new daughter and I SEE potential–not how the world defines potential…but how GOD sees potential—each human being becoming ALL who they were meant to be. No matter whether that’s a lot and they go on to do great things, or simply learning how to self-feed! There was once a time when I measured “success” by just how much a person could do and how awesomely they achieved milestones in life.

These days, “success” to me looks oh so different.

Success is when Haven finally follows through with a command that a three year old could easily understand.

Success is the day that Hailee eventually, after two years of being home, decides that it’s really quite okay to climb up a stair.

And success is when Harper finally pronounces “baby” perfectly.  Or when she brings her empty sippy cup to Anthony after he asks her to.

That, dear friends, is how we define success in our family.  That, we have seen.  That is what we celebrate.  And it won’t be any different with Hasya.

We simply cannot wait to see all the sweet successes which Hasya and Kael are going to have.

What an honor and a privilege it is that God has given us a front-row seat to see His miracle-working power arise in these two GIFTS He has given us!