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the blues

Forgive me for not being around too much these days.  I’ve kinda been experiencing the bloggy blues.  My heart has just not been into blogging recently.

Truth be told, I’m not too sure about where to go with this little blog of mine.  I do love blogging, and it’s a great way for my family living so far away to keep up with my life (which is why I started blogging in the first place).  But, I don’t know.  There have been many times recently when people leave me such nasty comments, and I hate that.  I don’t mind anyone differing from my opinions at all. In fact, I welcome it with open arms.  But, there is a point where I draw the line between sharing a difference in opinion respectfully, and just being completely mean.  Of course those comments are all left as “anonymous”. They are the nameless ones. It just seems so senseless to me that people would actually waste their time finding ways to be miserable.  I guess if they’ve run out of ways to do it in their own personal lives, they’ll find blogs to vent on.

I just don’t get it!  I’m not a thick-skinned person.  I struggle to just let things go most of the time.  Miserable comments really hurt.  And right now I’m seriously wondering if this blogging thing is worth it. It seems that for some I am a complete loser for adopting from foreign countries when there are kids here in the US that need to be adopted (ugh, it gets so tiring reading that after a while), for others I am doing the Down syndrome community such a huge injustice for using the ‘wrong language’ (whatever that means), and there are those who are just critical of anything and everything I write about. Do they have nothing better to do in life?

I like that I can just delete the nasty comments–they have no place on my blog.  But still, I have to read them first, and some of them just hurt like crazy.

So you see, I’m at a little bit of a crossroads right now.  I just don’t know what to do, and where to go with this.  I have considered going private, and that is certainly an option.  That way I know exactly who is reading, and I quite like that.  But I also know that there are lurkers here who have prayed as we have journeyed to Hailee and Harper–and I don’t want to cut them off just because I don’t know who they are.  I know some would love to see Hailee and Harper come home.  There are others though, who I wish would seriously just take a left and keep going!

This public blogging stuff really opens one up to the lovely readers who can hide behind their anonymity and say whatever they feel like saying.  Cowards.

I’m praying, because I don’t know what to do.  Part of me wants to say what the heck, let them say whatever they like.  The other part of me wants to go private so that I can only surround myself with those who want to read my blog for the right reasons.

I just don’t know. I do know that I am so not alone with this.  It seems that many have experienced it. Now it’s just my turn, I guess.

I’m just experiencing the bloggy blues right now.