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embracing every step

I try to give updates on Facebook most days about how things are going with our embryo adoption.  But for those of you who don’t follow along there, I thought I would give a quick update here too.

Yesterday was definitely a day of firsts.  I left home early in the morning to get my first routine blood work done.  My clinic required the results the same day so I got into the lab early.  With that came my first little prick in the arm.  Not too bad at all, actually.

After that I headed over to a local fertility doctor who has agreed to do the local monitoring of things for me (since my clinic is out of state).  Oh my goodness, what a lovely doctor!  He took so much time listening to our journey and our tiniest loves’ unfolding story.  He was so kind and gracious, and for that, I am so grateful.  After such a hard experience at the first clinic we tried to work with (the one we moved our embryos from), I seriously just cannot thank God enough for leading us to such amazing doctors since then.  He has been so good to me–taking care of my every need–including surrounding me with people who share my heart to do everything  we can to give these babies life.

I am forever grateful for the people He has brought into my life.

Later in the day yesterday I got a call from my clinic to say that all of my blood work looked great, and so did my first ultra sound.  No concerns whatsoever.  We were ready to move on to the next stage of the medication.

Last night I conquered my very first shot in the hip.  Hallelujah!  Anthony gave it to me and did an awesome job.  Thanks to tons of ice, it wasn’t too painful.  I’m told that the progesterone-in-oil solution that we add next week is a tough one…but I’ll cross that bridge when we get there.  Hopefully by then I’ll be a pro at this.  Today I feel pretty good on this new medication.  The only thing I’m feeling is sleepiness, which is unusual for me.  I’m thankful that I no longer have that awful sore stomach that I had on the previous medication.

Other side effects?  Well, today Anthony told me that he thought the scale in our bathroom wasn’t working.  “Would you try it for me, honey?”  he asked.  “Heck, NO!”  Even with very little appetite on all the medication, I am learning that there is nothing I can do to stop the pounds from accumulating.  Glorious hormones.  Truthfully, I’m not crazy about this part at all. BUT. It’s been season of reminding myself  WHY and WHO.  Four precious embryos need my body to be ready and able to accept them, and if I gain a few pounds in the process, so what?!  This has nothing to do with eternity.  But THEY sure do! I’ll continue to take one day at a time and focus on what truly matters, not the weight that can easily be lost at the end of this journey.  It’s all so temporary.

With less than three weeks to go until my transfer date, we’re getting excited.  It still feels surreal though.  Like any journey of faith–the kind where you just don’t know how God will write the end of the story–I’m learning more and more to trust in His sovereignty.  I’m learning to embrace the unknown (something that has always been hard for me) and trust His heart that is for me more and more in my life.

No matter the outcome–no matter what God decides will happen to these four, very loved embryos–my life will never be the same again.

I am changed by His love that saved me.


Four frozen lives have taught me to go deeper in my faith.

To trust more.

And to question less.

They will forever have my heart.