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finding my discipline

The last few days have been wonderful.  Time out.  Time away from my normal routine.  I don’t know about you guys, but sometimes I forget that I need a break–time to be refreshed and reenergized.  This time I really needed it.  The last year has been hard for me in so many ways.  Dealing with circumstances which are so out of my control is something that has stretched and challenged me like never before (nothing to do with our kids…just life).  Sometimes the battle just gets tiring, as I know so many of you understand.  I’m a fixer.  If something is broken, I want it fixed.  If something is not right, I want to fix it.  Like, yesterday. You know that old saying, “Let go and let God”  That is SO hard for me. I’m learning, sometimes the hard way, that my Jesus is more than enough.

Praise God that His mercies are new each and every morning, and great is His faithfulness (Lam. 3:23).

One thing I am sure of and will stand on any street corner to proclaim in a loud voice is that my God is faithful!  He was faithful to rescue the Israelites…and He is faithful to rescue each one of us.  The Everlasting God never slumbers nor sleeps.

I have recently been so aware of my humanness–my frailty, my weaknesses, the areas where I strive.  Some days I feel like I can take on the world and conquer any battle I face.  But then there are times when all I am is weary.  Times when I need some time out to refocus and have the Lord fill me back up to overflowing.  Jesus got away from it all, didn’t He?  How often I forget to follow His example.

As I have been pondering my own life, my journey, and in the things that need some major adjustments, there is one area in my life which I feel has been so lacking recently.  Something I really need to work on.

Being disciplined!

Oh my goodness.  There are periods in my life when I am the queen of being disciplined–I eat right, I spend quality time with the Lord, I find time to excercise and be healthy.  I rock at it!  No junk food ever gets brought into our home, my kids feel totally sugar deprived, and every single meal is very meticulously thought out, planned, and nutritionally balanced.

And then there are times when the tables turn and I fail miserably. The wonderful ebb and flow of life, I guess. I let things go.  Like recently.  Times when I struggle to get out of bed in the morning and my entire day feels like it is hours of dragging just to get to the end of it and get everything done that needs to be done.  Crazy!  I hate feeling that way.

One thing I know about myself is that when I eat well, I feel so much better and have tons more energy.  I am generally a healthy eater.  I have been a vegetarian since I was 16 years old. I try to stay away from junk food. I eat lots of raw food.  But when I’m tired and weary I reach for anything in sight (that didn’t once move, that is).  Sugar!  That’s my thing.  I love, love, love sugar!  It’s my little pick-me-up when the days feel long. 

So a few weeks back, my dear friend Jill asked us if anyone would like to join her on a thirty-day cleanse. Yeah!  I knew I needed to do something like that to get myself back into a healthy eating routine, so I jumped at the opportunity. I figured that with the school year winding down, I would have more time to focus on eating heathily again. Everything starts with good intentions, huh? 

In other news, Haven is doing so amazingly well with her new glasses. She doesn’t even try to take them off.  The only little issue we’re having is that with the warmer weather, the more they slip off her nose when she sweats, and she doesn’t think to push them back up.  We’re going to get one of those strap thingys that keeps them on snuggly.  I think that will help.  She is definitely loving her new vision.  Many have written to ask me if we are noticing any changes in her since she got her specs.  No, not really.  The only obvious change is that she walks with much more confidence on uneven surfaces.  That is a beautiful thing, and each little victory in Haven’s life is reason for us to rejoice.

I have also been asked if we have had Hailee and Harper’s eyes checked.  Yes, we have.  But, after Haven’s poor eyesight was only diagnosed after three different eye doctors examined her eyes, I’m thinking that getting a second (or third) opinion of the little girls’ eyes may not be such a bad idea.  We’re most concerned about Hailee’s eyes.  Even after she had botox injected into her eyes for her strabismus, we’re still not sure that she is focusing properly.  It’s hard to tell.

God has been so good to my family.  Since moving back here a year ago we have really struggled to find a church where we feel we belong.  Having a large family with special needs in the mix certainly does add to the dynamics when it comes to finding a place where we fit in.  Recently we found that place–and we could not be more thrilled.  We are so thankful that the Father has directed us to a church we love.  They have the most amazing outreach for children and adults with any kind of special need.  Trained volunteers run a Sunday school class just for them–individually tailored to meet each and every child’s unique needs.  What a huge blessing in this season of our lives!

Yayeeee….summer is here and we cannot wait to spend our days at the pool.  In the water is where you’ll find us for the next three months.  We love it!

Happy Memorial Day, beautiful friends.

May the Everlasting Father be your More Than Enough this day.