Close this search box.

finding my mustard seed

Oh my goodness gracious!  How can I ever thank you all enough for blessing the Beamish family the way you did?  Your hearts are amazing.  Every single contribution was such a gift to them.  Love poured out so sacrificially.  Please know that I appreciate you so much. 

You know, sometimes I forget how huge my God is.  Really.  I forget that He is more than able to meet our needs. Watching the money flood in for the Beamish family showed me once again that nothing is impossible for my Father in heaven.  Too often I give in to the lies of the enemy–lies that tell me that a situation is impossible.  Or, lies that tell me that something will never work.  Lies, lies, lies.  That’s all they truly are.  Sometimes my faith is so puny.

I would love to be at that place where I can truly say that my faith is so rock solid and can never be shaken.  But I have such a long way to go.

My selective faith. There are some things that are so easy for me to trust the Father in. 

Like our children.

It is so easy for me to trust God to lead and guide us as we parent the beautiful treasures He has added to our family over the years.

That’s simple for me.

I can look at my sweet daughter and not be overwhelmed by what her future may or may not hold. 

Truth is, we just have no idea.

Will she ever speak?  No clue.

Will she ever catch up to be a “normal” ten year old?  No clue.

Will she ever be able to communicate her needs?  No clue.

Will she ever be able to express what is in her heart?  No clue.

Will she ever go beyond the development of a three year old?  No clue

Will she ever even find her voice?  No clue.

Or, will she be content to live in her silent world forever?  No clue about that either.

But I have absolute faith that God does know–and that is good enough for me.  I don’t get hung up on the what if’s and maybe’s regarding Haven and her uncertain future.  Same with our other kiddos who have needs.  I have all the faith in the world to trust God for what their futures may hold.  I know it’s all in His hands.

They are here with us, where they are meant to be.  And I have faith to trust the Lord for the rest.

For me, that’s the easy part of faith.

But God has us in a new season.  And I know that the greatest test of our faith is yet to come.

Here I am, already giving in to the lies, the fear that rises up, the voice of the enemy who will do anything to keep us from fulfilling God’s call on our lives. 

How will this ever work?

What if it all goes horribly wrong?

What if we fail?

What if…?  What if…?  What if…?

Blah, blah, blah.

Ugh.  Sometimes I have to dig so deep to find even a mustard size morsel of faith. 

Yet, that is all we’re required to have, isn’t it  A teeny, tiny mustard seed of faith.  I forget that sometimes.

Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”  Matt 17:20

Have you ever seen a mustard seed? Yeah….it’s that small. The Bible says it’s the smallest of all the seeds on earth. God is so good. He could have told us to have faith the size of a pumpkin. Or even a watermelon. But nope…just a wee mustard seed. Just a token amount would do. He knew that there would be times when a mustard seed amount would be all that we can muster.  And that is good enough for Him.

We dig deep and offer Him what we can, what we are able to give, and He builds upon it. He takes our tiny morsel of faith and grows it, and grows it, and grows it.

That amazes me.

And so I’m in a season of digging in.  Digging deep.  Being stretched and challenged.

I’m ready and willing to allow the Lord to grow my tiny mustard seed of faith…and put one foot in front of the other and follow His lead.

Following Him with reckless abandon.

No matter where the path may lead. 

Or what He would have us do.

My answer will always be, “Yes and Amen!” 


Even if I know the journey is not going to be easy. Even if all I can find in my heart is a teeny tiny mustard seed of faith to believe that things WILL work out fine.  Simply because my God is who He says that He is. 

“Faithful and True.”

“The great I AM.”

“The everlasting Father.”

He is the One who sticks closer than a brother.

I often think about the time when Jesus told His disciples, “Let’s cross over to the other side,” in Luke chapter 8.  A fierce storm came up and the disciples were terrified while Jesus napped in the boat.  Fear overcame them as they woke Jesus up and told him that they were about to drown. 

Yup.  I would have done the same thing.  “Ummmm, Jesus, this is so not a good time to take a little nap. Could you like help us out here, please?”

Whew.  But, it’s really so simple.  The disciples had absolutely no reason to fear, did they?  They should have been at peace to sit in the boat and weather the storm. 


Because Jesus already TOLD them what was about to happen.  “Let’s cross over to the other side of the lake!”

He gave them the directions and told them to head on over to the other side.  But what He didn’t tell them was that the journey to get there was not going to be easy. That little detail, He left out.  Would His friends trust Him to get them to the other side safely?  What a great little faith builder this would be for His friends.

They didn’t get it, did they?  I can so relate to those guys in the boat.  Too often I don’t get it either.  Fear grips my heart.

Jesus’s response when they woke Him up?

“Where is your faith?”

I ask my self that question a lot.  “Where is your faith?”  “Has God not already told you what to do, Adéye?”

And so I am reminded once again that all I need to do is keep my eyes on the destination.  How I get there is not my concern.  The storms will come and blow my little boat around.  The seas will get choppy and the rain will pour down in buckets.  That is certain. It is IN the storm that God grows our faith and causes us to press into Him like never before.  It is IN the storm that we see His faithfulness.  It is IN the storm that we learn that God is dependable and trustworthy.

The storms must come, friends.  Just as they came for the Beamish family. Just as they came for the disciples in the boat. God always takes care of us when the storms of life blow us around. It is after the storm that we see the magnificent glory of God. 

His amazingness. 

His awesomeness. 

His faithfulness. 

His deliverance.

God always delivers His people.  ALWAYS. 

He will always get us to the other side–but He never, ever said it was going to be easy.

Digging deep and finding my mustard seed of faith.

“Let us cross over to the other side.”