I can hardly believe it….Haven has JUST one more week in the orphanage. After waiting more than three years for her family to come and get her…a new life is about to begin for her.
We leave on Friday and spend the night in Denver. Our flight leaves very early Saturday morning. I am emotional! On the one hand I am praying with all that is within me for Haven, for her transition into our family. On the other hand my heart is aching that I have to leave my two older boys at home. Connor will be fine. Kellan is my soft and sensitive one. He is already heartbroken that we are leaving. I know the separation is going to be very hard on him. I am so grateful that they are going to be with my Dad, that is a blessing. Phew….my mommy heart is being pulled in all directions. BUT…I know God has brought us this far, I know He will take care of every concern that I have, they are HIS concerns, not mine.
Thank you to everyone (friends I have had for years and new friends I have just met) who have offered to pray for Haven. After speaking to the Social Worker at our Agency yesterday I realized again that we are truly taking a journey into the unknown. Yes, there are soooooo many things that can go wrong…Haven could be completely traumatized, she may reject us completely, she may shut herself off and refuse to have anything to do with us, she may have flashbacks of her failed adoption….on and on and on. BUT, I know how MUCH God loves her. His love for this sweet child is more than my heart can comprehend. I guess it’s like anything in life, the uncertainties and “what if’s” of new situations can keep us in the boat, keep us from experiencing THE BLESSING of walking on water, to the place where Jesus is. Fear can hold us back from anything new. I will not allow my heart to be afraid or fearful! I am holding onto Jesus and trusting Him with all my heart. I am trusting Him for calm waters to walk on…I WILL NOT take my eyes off Him!!!