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lingering longer

Last week I received an email from a sweet friend.  Something she said resonated in my heart, and I have been pondering her words for the last few days.

Simply because it is just what I feel when I look at my own children.  It’s something I long to get right in my own life.

She simply said that she wanted to “linger longer” with her children. 

That’s it!

I too want to linger longer.  I want time to stand still sometimes.

I want to linger in the moments and cherish each and every one of them.

I want to savor the memories that are being made in my home.

I want to linger.

I want to stall for a moment.  To take a deep breath.  To ponder.

I want to cherish.

I want to dawdle.  To amble along every now and then.

I want to stop where I am and what I’m doing.

And just observe the wonder of it all.  The gifts that I have been given.

Because time is so fleeting. 

Brief, really.  A vapor.

They just grow up too quickly.

Some days I get it right–but others I fail so horribly.  I get so caught up in the things that just do not matter in life.  I loose my focus on what does matter, and put my attention on the things that are trivial and senseless.

I chase after the wind.

And it is meaningless.

Totally meaningless.

Like many of you, I don’t want to miss out on a single thing with my children.  I never want to look back someday and have regrets that I gave my kids the morsels of time that I had left over. 

I never want my time offering to them to be the crumbs that remain at the end of my day.

I long to be present for my children.  Here, now, fully focussed.

Yet I am too often distracted.  Busy.  Hurried.  Occupied.

Oh how the desire of my heart is to linger.

To linger longer.

To savor every kiss and cuddle more.

To smell, to touch, to enjoy, and to remember every little thing about them while they are little.

To relish the love that flows so freely, so beautifully.

I long to capture every tender memory and etch it in my memory forever and ever–so that it can never be erased!

I want to learn to linger.  And linger.  And linger.

To pause.

And pause some more.

To have time stand still on days like these.

And to laugh as they laugh.

I never want to forget how far our children have come.  I don’t want to forget about the miracles that God performs in their lives each and ever day. 

I want to be in awe of the amazing things He has done…always!

I long to linger and enjoy each piece of grass that makes its way into curious hands.

And every little tongue that peeps out when they’re in concentration mode.

For before we know it–the tongue will remember that it is best inside the mouth, not outside.

So for now…we smile about it being out and think that it makes them ever more adorable.

And while sweet little bodies learn and grow and reach new milstones every single day….I want to linger longer.

I don’t want to miss a single memory.

I want to give standing ovations.

And marvel at the miracles right before my eyes.

I want to tell little boys that they are beautiful (and handsome, too, of course). Over and over again.

And laugh when they tell me that I’m silly for saying it. 

I want to remember dirty feet.

And dirty tree-climbing lovies.

Because boys will always be boys.  They’ll grow up fast and their tree climbing days will be nothing but a distant memory way too soon. And there is nothing that I can do to make time slow down.

So I love their tree climbing days.  I’ll linger and enjoy.

And it’s quite okay for beautiful princesses to climb trees too. 

I’ll linger and savor those moments too.

Because before I know it she’ll be wearing makeup and heels. 

And I’m not ready for that.  Yet.

Help me, Father, to live in the moment and to treasure each day that You give me with these gifts here on earth.

Help me to be present always.

Right here.  Right now.

Learning to linger longer.

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