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A little update

Thank you precious friends for all the inquiries about how Haven is doing at school. I appreciate your care and concern more than you will ever know.

Well, we are almost two weeks into school. The first week was hard for her. New people, different faces, different things, new routine…you get the picture. It was A LOT for this little 8 year old to take in. Every day we had tears at school. The main problem comes in when she has to change environment—go from one classroom to another, or onto the playground (which to her is like a war zone). Toward the end of last week things got a little better. She seemed to be adjusting a little more. Today there were no tears at all—Praise God!

We are just taking one step at a time. Is she in the right place? You know, honestly, I just don’t know. Some days I think yes, and then other days I think no way. I know—I am one seriously confused chick 🙂 Right now I just don’t know what the right thing is. I am so grateful for all the speech therapy she IS getting at school. They are working with her daily—that is a HUGE blessing.

The very GOOD news is that Haven qualifies for Medicaid (free health insurance for my SA family and friends). Anthony had a meeting last Friday and was told that because of Haven’s needs she qualifies immediately—there is usually a five year wait list! That means that every therapy, doctors appointment or dentist appointment that she needs will be taken care of for life. Unbelievable. We are waiting for a doctors appointment where she will be ‘officially’ diagnosed. Goodness—I still don’t know how I feel about that.

So, once Medicaid kicks in, we will have so many more options to choose from when it comes to Haven receiving intervention services. Therapists will come and work with her in our home, and they will work with the whole family to assist us in helping Haven. Such a HUGE blessing.

Phew—what a journey. Some days I feel like the road before us is a mountain to climb. I get discouraged every once in a while, after three months I was so hoping that Haven would be at least saying some words. Just being honest here! Every now and then we can get her to imitate a word we say, but it is very rare. I know, I know—three months is not a long time. We have eight years of abuse to undo—it is going to take years. Some days are good, others are not so good. It really is hit and miss. The littlest things upset her, and we can tell when she has flashbacks from her past—there is absolute terror in her eyes. It is painful to see.

My new motto in life has become “one day at a time” 🙂 I am learning NOT to have expectations, about anything—but just to lean on my Savior DAILY. I am learning NOT to plan my life for the next five years (which is HUGE for me) and just take it one baby step at a time. Three months ago, if I could, I would have had a detailed outline for the next ten years of my life etched in stone! It has taken the Lord giving us Haven to show me that that is NOT how The Father wants us to live. Mmmmm, does it not say in His Word that even tomorrow is NOT my concern? I think I erased that verse in my bible :). Through this precious child He has taught me so much about myself. I am learning complete and utter dependence on God in a situation that is sooooo absolutely out of my control. I guess the control freak in me is finally being crucified 🙂 Dang! It hurts like heck.

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