Close this search box.

the “m” word

My little girl is growing up so fast.  As she fast approaches her eighth birthday in two weeks time, I am loving a more mature relationship with her.  She’s noticing a lot more stuff around her.  All of a sudden she seems to have gone from a very little girl, to a young lady who is growing and maturing.

While I would love to keep all my children little forever, that is not reality.  Our kids grow up before our very eyes.  I’m told that college comes way too quickly for most moms.  I think I’ll be one of those.  I really do love each and every day that I have my children in my home.  I can’t even imagine what it is like to navigate the teen years.


Hannah-Claire’s recent interest in things that were never at all important to her have opened up some very interesting conversations between the two of us. I am learning fast that raising girlies is so different to raising sons. When the ‘boy issues’ come up, I just send them to Daddy.  With the girls, well, that’s my department, and I have to learn as I go.  I’ve never raised an eight-year-old girl before.  This is new for me.

It goes without saying that I don’t want Hannah-Claire (or any of my children for that matter) to make the same mistakes I did growing up.  Not that I was a bad kid–but I did make some choices that I deeply regretted later in my life. Things that I so wished I could have changed, but we all know it is impossible to turn back the hands of time.  I am so thankful for God’s grace and mercy.

One of the things that comes up quite a lot between my daughter and I these days is the topic of modesty.  Hannah-Claire is no dummy.  She is smart, alert, curious, and in tune to the things that happen around her.  She notices things.  More so now that ever before.  She notices what other girls are wearing, or rather, what they’re not wearing.  And thankfully she knows that she can talk about the things that her eyes see.  We chat a lot about modesty and what we, as Christians, are expected to do about it. 

Our recent discussions sure have got me thinking a lot.  One thing that I have thought about is how very little the subject of modesty is taught about, or even spoken about, in churches.  Anthony and I have been part of many churches as we have moved and traveled.  You know, I cannot remember one time that I have even heard it taught.  Why is that?  Why does the church NOT guide young (and older) woman in what is appropriate to put on our bodies?


Why is it that an eighteen-year-old young lady can walk into a church with a mini-skirt on that makes some members of the congregation gasp for breath–yet the poor thing has never even heard that it is not appropriate, and that she really should cover up a tad more. It’s not her fault. Why is the message not being taught?  Or perhaps it is just not taught in the circles we have mixed in over the years.  I don’t know. 

We don’t watch a lot of TV at all.  We prefer to let our children watch movies that we have researched and approve of. I can almost fall over backwards when I see some of the things on TV.  Oh my word.  A couple of weeks ago my son happened to be looking for a movie to watch.  He was flicking through the kids channels and happened to stop on one.  There before my eyes was Miley Cyrus singing at some teen music awards wearing next to nothing at all–and swinging on a pole.  Are you kidding me?  Seriously?  Is this what the next generation of young people has become?  Lord have mercy.  What is going on in this world?  I’m sorry, Miley, but we just cannot have you as a role model for our girls who are growing up.  Miley, we PRAY that you do not follow in the footsteps of Britney Spears, who started out the same way.

It all leaves me with such a bad feeling.  I hate the things that I see on the streets.  It is not okay for anyone to have their breasts hanging out.  It is not okay to wear a skirt that is seriously lacking in fabric.  It is not okay–not for the girl NOR for the young men (like ours are becoming) who have to control their eyes and their thoughts.  How in the world are Christian men meant to remain pure in thought when they are bombarded with images daily that could cause them to stumble?  I feel sorry for men.  I really do.  According to Dr Dobson, it is a fact that God created a man to be attracted by sight.  How on God’s green earth do teenage boys even concentrate in high school when they have a scantily clad young lady sitting right next to them?  Sheesh, talk about a lesson in self control.

Whew, friends, how far the world has strayed from the life of purity we are called to live.

I long for Hannah-Claire to understand the heart of God even when it comes to dress.  Of course the Father cares about what she wears.  Should not any Daddy care about what his sweet daughter looks like when she leaves the house?  I want her to get it in her heart that things like this really do matter.  And so we’re establishing a foundation really early with her.  We are careful to guide her when it comes to her choice of clothes. We want her to know that God requires modesty, and that it is a good thing. But it has to become a heart issue with her.

I am learning along this journey of having little kids that are becoming bigger kids.  It’s challenging. It is hard to find the balance in some things. We’re are not the kind of homeschooling family that believes that we should only wear long skirts.  While we absolutely do respect the families who make that choice, it’s so not us.  We like to find bargains that are trendy and cute. We love to shop clearance racks for fashionable items. The sad reality is that it is hard to find clothes that are fashionable and modest. It seems that as the years pass the latest fashions have less and less fabric to them.  I seriously feel like I hit the jackpot when I come home with something that is made in 2010 AND has more than half a yard of fabric.

So what do you think about modesty?  I would love to hear how some of you mamas are raising your girls to get the message of modesty in their hearts?

Where do you draw the line with things like….

~~~  Is it okay for Christian woman to wear a bikini at the beach, or not?

~~~  Shorter than short shorts are the latest thing.  But how short is too short?

~~~  What about body hugging shirts?  Is that okay?

~~~  Do you think that the message of modesty needs to be taught more in the church?  Are we failing our young woman by not guiding them in this?

Tell me what you think.  I’d love to hear.