Phew, friends. I never imagined that my post here would open up such a can of worms. My inbox is flooded with e-mails from amazing people sharing their trials, their heartaches and their road to forgiveness after close friends and family have let them down by not supporting the call on their lives to adopt a child. Truthfully, I read the comments, the e-mails, and ponder the things that we personally are dealing with, and my heart just cannot comprehend it. Like I said in my post, I always heard stories of this kind of rejection, but I never imagined it to be so common, so ‘normal.’ It truly breaks my heart.
This week sure has had its challenges. Oh, the comments we get…you gotta love it. Like this, from a woman my hubby works with…
Anthony: “We’re going to Eastern Europe to adopt a four year old little girl with Down Syndrome…she is not doing well and we really need to get there as soon as possible.”
Woman: “Oh…you know, when you adopted Haven it was all very exciting. But Anthony, when is this all going to end?”
Oh, and I love how many people tell us that we need to do everything in our power to try and find a family in Hailee’s country to come and take her into foster care. What in the world? Do they not understand how detrimental that would be (even after we explain it)? Do they not get it when we tell them that she will surely die if that were to happen? Do they not get it that we are talking about extreme poverty–to the point where they cannot even feed themselves, let alone another child. Oh, and that any money the government pays them to foster a child goes to alcohol and that’s why they take the orphans! That is a fact. We could talk till we’re blue in the face–they just don’t get it.
And by the way–if one more person feels the need to tell me that there are so many orphans in this country, and that we should adopt one from here I think I’m going to scream. Trust me on this one thing, if God wants us to adopt from America, He is more than able to tell us that…and we have ears wide open to hear Him. But this brings me to another point: God often puts passion in us. If you got the passion, you got the mission. Go for it.
People often ask us what to say when we get asked all these questions. The answer? Nothing. For one, there simply are no answers that would make any difference at all. And secondly, God is our advocate. He is more than able to fight our battles. Getting into conversations that people have no understanding of is just completely futile.
“The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned” (1 Corinthians 2:14).
I could go on and on sharing some of the ridiculous things we hear daily. But, it does not matter. My eyes and ears have been so opened to the things that so many of you are dealing with or have dealt with. And it breaks my heart. It should not be this way. I have no idea whoever gave people the right to tell me (or anyone else) how big my family should be. Whoever decided how many children is enough? Or how many children is the right number? Only the Almighty! He is the only one who has permission in our lives to lead and guide us in this.
I will say that I find it so very interesting that every single time we come up against people who are unsupportive of what we are doing–they are those who have never adopted a child before. Never adopted, never fostered, never even helped out an orphan–but they feel the need to tell us what to do, or in our case, what not to do. Go figure!
To the rest of the world, we may seem like complete fools. And that is perfectly okay. The comments bounce off us like water off a duck’s back. Nothing penetrates, try as they may.
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers (and sisters) whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance” (James 1:2).
We’re finding the joy in it all. Our joy comes from knowing that someday soon we will hold this broken little being, she will have a new name (which means Heroine), she will be loved and treasured like there is no tomorrow, she will receive every bit of medical care that she so desperately requires, she will be surrounded by brothers and sisters to love on her, she will know that the words “Mommy” and “Daddy” translate as “love.” Most importantly, she will know the love of Jesus–the one who promised in His Word that He would come for her–and He did! Yes, pure joy.
On another note, I am counting my blessings after a crazy week. Like these darlings of mine. They’re like their mother–longing for the beach. So what do you do when you have a boat but no beach?
Blow the thing up, fill it with water, and pretend. And then, like we say where I come from “Bob’s your Uncle.” Or, in normal English–everything’s great!
How blessed I am.