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rising up

Those of you who have adopted before will know the fact that there is a golden rule for those of us who blog publicly, advocate for children, or even for adoption agencies–we have to let our words be few.  We have to use extreme caution when it comes to the things that go out into the world from places like this, my little blog.

Here I am, holding back, and it is hard for me. I’m not good at holding back. As I wait for things to become finalized here I cannot jeopardize anything at all. I must use absolute wisdom. Just so you understand. Once everything is said and done, well, then things can change a bit and I can be a little more open again.

Thank you to each and every one of you who have offered encouragement, prayer, songs, scripture, and everything else. I was blown away reading ALL your words of love and wisdom. I’m still making my way through all the e-mails. I can tell you that you all get it, you really do. You understand that my almost five year old, sixteen pound daughter needs out. Soon.

Sometimes a picture, like the one of Hailee I posted yesterday, IS worth a thousand words.

Never in my life, and even in all our time on the mission field, have I experienced anything like this journey. To say that it has changed my life is an understatement. It has turned my world upside down. I will never be the same again. The things I have seen will be etched in my memory forever–they will be my constant reminder that I will fight for the children who get left behind until the day that I die. I will try, as best as I can, to be a voice for the fatherless until Jesus comes to take me home. God knows how desperately these precious treasures NEED voices out there.  Here, they have none.

Thursday is the day!  I will finally, after all these weeks, go before the judge in court. Finally. What a journey it has been to get to this point. For those of you unfamiliar with the adoption process in this country, usually after court there is a ten day waiting period.  In some regions the judge will waiver that period, in others not. In this region I’m in it can go either way, depending on the judge assigned to each case. 

For weeks I have been told that there is absolutely no way the judge will consider it for me.  At one point we were told he was “thinking” about it–then the whole Russian thing happened with the little boy and I was told “definitely not”.  I lost all hope for a little while. Then, one day it hit me like a ton of bricks–if I’m going to lead the faith-filled life that God has called me too, then I need to step out and trust Him with reckless abandon, come what may. No matter how many times I hear those words, “It is impossible.” Impossible situations give God an opportunity to show His GLORY, right?

Yes, they sure do.

If the God I serve is the God of the Bible (and I know He is), then His miracles never cease.  If He can part the waters and raise people from the dead, heck, he can give me a miracle for my daughters. The great I Am–the One who never changes.

I had to dig deep in my faith, friends.  I am tired and weary from being here, and being alone. I am weary of the battle that continues to rage. Events from the last few days have left me feeling depleted. And, I never imagined I would still be sitting here waiting for my court appointment.  Enough already!

I am rising up with renewed boldness, clothed in the full armor of God. I am going into that court appointment on Thursday morning trusting my God in heaven for a miracle. Trusting Him that He WILL soften the judge’s heart and that the guy will grant me the waiver I so desperately want, and more importantly that Hailee so desperately needs.

If the judge does waiver the waiting period, Hailee and Harper will come out of the orphanage as early as THIS Friday and we would head home hopefully by the end of next week.

If he does not, well, then we still have a long way to go on this journey.  May is filled with public holidays here…which means even more delays. The soonest Hailee and Harper will be able to get out of the orphanage is May 6.  And we would only go home mid-May.  Oh my goodness. That feels like forever, especially since I left home on March 28.

I absolutely have to trust my God in this.  Any of you who have journeyed with me for a while know that the Father has been so incredible with this adoption.  He truly has moved heaven and earth on Hailee and Harper’s behalf.  I know that the Almighty holds the hearts of kings in His hands, and that moving on the heart of this one judge is nothing for Him. Absolutely nothing. I trust Him with all my heart and soul, with everything that is within me–and so I’ll trust Him in this too.  No matter what happens. No matter which way things turn out.  He is for me and our girls in every way and He’ll see us through to the other side.

I remembered a quote from a book that a friend e-mailed me just before I left home.

 “Preparing her heart to stand before the judge, she remembered that it was God’s job to guard the paths of justice; her job was to follow His lead. She knew that truth & justice were the works of His hands. God is in control.”

Truth and justice are the works of His hands! He IS in control.  This is HIS battle, and I’ll follow His lead, knowing with all my heart that He works out all things to the good of those who love Him.

Anthony and I feel so blessed that so many people are praying–trusting God for great favor and a sweet victory on Thursday. Thank you for standing with us and, in faith, trusting that this mountain WILL move and that I can get the girls OUT on Friday.  Oh how glorious that would be.  I cannot even begin to tell you.  To bring them here, finally be able to give them a bath, wash their hair, put on new clothes and love and cuddle for hours without having to say goodbye. That would surely be heaven on earth right now.

Thank you, dear friends of a Mighty God, thank you for praying that every obstacle that stands before me will simply disappear.  Thank you for trusting that the hearts of those who will make decisions on Thursday are beginning to soften, even now.  Thank you for praying that God would give me the words to speak.  Thank you for praying for great favor…even from a man who was very unsure about me adopting these girls right from the start.

And thank you for praying that His hand of protection would be upon my girls as they wait.

Thank you for being part of Hailee and Harper’s unfolding story.

My God is ABLE!

He defends the cause of the fatherless.
Deut 10:18