Since day one Haven has been terrified of doctors–not just a little fear–TRAUMATIZED! I guess that whenever you adopt an older child there is always a big black hole regarding their past. There is no way of ever knowing exactly what they have endured in their lives. So it is with Haven, she has so many fears and scars on her body, things that we will never have the answers to.
I have come to the conclusion that she must have had a HORRIBLE hospital experience. There is nothing documented in her medicals from China that she was ever hospitalized, but that is no surprise either. We pretty much take all her medicals and past history that has been documented with a grain of salt.
As soon as she realized where we were today, as soon as she knew that it was a hospital she sobbed uncontrollably. Not just a child-like cry with tears–I mean shaking and sobbing to the point were she could not be comforted, no matter how hard I tried. Her little body trembled in absolute fear…shaking! Thank goodness they eventually gave her a sedative, which did relax her a little. Oh my heart.
After a 75 minute procedure, the dentist had to remove 4 teeth–all in the front. All the other teeth he managed to save. Her gums were so inflamed and infected that he needed to scrape underneath them to remove all the bacteria. Most of the discoloration is gone, and her teeth in general look so much cleaner.
For the most part, having a non-verbal child has been very do-able for our family. As we have journeyed the past six months, we have learned how to meet Haven’s needs. But today was tough! My heart broke as I looked at my child and knew that there was no way that she could communicate to me what she was feeling. She had no way of telling me why she was afraid. Once surgery was over, she had no way of letting me know where she was hurting. There was nothing I could do–except hold her tight and assure her everything was going to be okay. It was a hard day. My mommy heart broke for my sweet little one who lives in her world of silence, completely unable to share her thoughts and feelings with us. It was one of those times she just had to trust me that she was safe.
Days like today make me long for Haven to find her voice. But, I know we still have a very long road ahead of us. I cannot tell you how grateful I am the Lord has blessed us with this sweet little flower–what a joy it is to see her blossom and grow. There is such a sweetness about her, such a tenderness. I know that some day we will look back on the days that she did not speak and it will all be a distant memory. I am claiming that for Haven’s life!
So, what do you do when you have five children and no babysitter—yip, you take the whole crew with you wherever you go…how blessed I am to have children who know how to keep themselves entertained.
They colored in and did word searches
The hospital loaned us a Nintendo DS—serious fun for the little guy
Crossword puzzles for the oldest
Blessings from Whom all blessings flow!
When Haven came out of the recovery room, she got loved on by her brother.
Sweet little sister is always nearby to love and cuddle her big sister. Oh how Haven loves this girl.
Thank you for your love and your prayers for Haven. She is doing fine this afternoon. A little sore, no doubt, but okay. My prayer for her is that ALL the fears she has will be gone in the name of Jesus. That she will know in her heart that the world is not a scary place–that she is safe.
