Yesterday was challenging! I received an e-mail from someone telling me how TOUGH it was to raise a child with Autism, how difficult is it going to be for my family, how it is going to drain our finances, how tiring it is going to be for me, how negatively it can affect our other children…on and on!
Oh my goodness, I can honestly say that in a moment of weakness, it was the FIRST time since our decision to adopt Haven that I have thought “oh my, can I do this?”. In the last 10 months of this journey I have never once wavered in my faith, trusting God that He was more than able to take care of every need Haven (and our family)had. Until yesterday. I questioned the Lord, considered everything that could possibly go wrong and completely took my eyes off the Father.
THEN, this morning I opened my e-mail to see the most generous donation for Haven’s adoption. From someone we do not know :). A precious family who God used to encourage me (and bless us exceedingly, abundantly more than we could ever imagine). He showed me clearly that He was STILL in it…working on our behalf. Yes, He has been in Haven’s adoption since before we even agreed to adopt her. As a friend of mine said to me yesterday…even though she was adopted before, she has ALWAYS been my child. Who am I to doubt what may lie ahead? Who am I to question whether or not I can raise a child with Autism (or some other brain disorder)? Who am I to tell the Lord that I cannot do this…when He has already told me I CAN!
There are no words to describe how much we have been blessed on the journey to adopting our little girl. I am so overwhelmed at how people (even strangers) have opened their hearts and their wallets to Haven. Thank you to each one of you who have contributed, it has ALL added up to the point where we are almost at our goal. Hallelujah!
All my fears from yesterday are GONE! Praise Jesus. I am standing on God’s promises that He will NEVER put me or my family in a situation that we cannot handle. I believe with all my heart that God’s plans and purposes for Haven are GOOD, actually excellent 🙂 I believe Haven is going to blossom and grow into the beautiful girl that God has created her to be. Yes, it may be a journey to get her to that point, but there is going to be JOY in the journey. Absolute JOY!!!!!!
Special friends, I am counting the days….I cannot wait to hold this little one and in some way (through the language barrier) let her know that everything is going to be okay. That she will NEVER spend another day of her life back in an orphanage. I long for her to know that Jesus loves her more than words can say. I long to see how her life is going to unfold….to see the beautiful plans and purposes that God has for this child. What a privilege. As with everything in life, I know that the road we are about to walk may have it ups and downs, I know that we will weather some storms….but I also know that I can never live a life where it is comfortable…inside the boat. I HAVE to be on the outside of the boat, at the place where I am stretched and challenged.
Here are some pics of Haven which I have not posted yet. My heart can hardly wait!!!!!