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to give my life away

Life has recently been filled with many twists and turns for our family. The last couple of weeks have once shown us once again that true surrender is NOT about us.  It’s about seeking the kingdom of God above all things.  It’s about dying to our own desires daily–and following God with everything we have.
Sometimes we get it right.  Sometimes we fail miserably.
I’ve been thinking about something a lot these days.  My heart has been so drawn to people who get it.  I call them “yes” people.  Those who have lived lives so completely surrendered to their Father in heaven.  People who say YES to God…even when they know full well that saying that one little three-letter word will stretch them, challenge them, and possibly put them in a situation which will be the hardest road they have ever had to walk in their lives.

“Yes!” gives God the power to do the extraordinary in our lives.

I have been thinking about incredible people in the Bible whose lives challenge me to become more obedient, more faith-filled, and more surrendered to my Father in heaven.  Mary, the mother of Jesus, is definitely one of my heroes.  That young girl understood what it meant to die to her own dreams and desires.  Mary got it.  I cannot imagine being a teenager and hearing the news that I would give birth to the Savior of the world.  Oh my word! Would I have said?  “Um, thanks, but no thanks”?  Maybe.  How would I have dealt with the burden that Mary carried?  Shunned by her friends and family.  People telling her she was completely out of her mind.

Yet, Mary said yes. 

She gave her life away for the sake of the ONE who called her by name.
Oh, and what about my favorite missionary of all time?  The life of George Mueller challenges my faith big time.  Just an ordinary man with a heart after God’s own heart.  Mr. Mueller understood complete and absolute faith in his Father.  He trusted the Lord for manna for each and every day to feed him and his family and the hundreds of orphans in his care in Bristol, England.  This man of humongous faith knew so deep down in his heart that his God was faithful.  He knew that even though the journey was not easy and some days food and money were scarce…God would provide. 

George Mueller was a champion for the orphans of Bristol.  He never gave up when the going got tough.  He never chose to take the easy road.  Instead, he pressed in and pressed on toward the finish line…trusting in the promise that God does indeed work out all things to the good of those who love Him.

He too gave his life away.
I’ve been pondering what exactly that means.  How do I give my life away?  How do I live in such a way that my life becomes little about me, and all about HIM?
That, my friends, is what the Father has been challenging me with recently.

My life is not my own.  I was bought with a price.  I am a servant of the risen King–set apart to do His will, not mine. My life is all about being His hands and feet on the earth today.  It’s about going where He sends me and doing the things He calls me to do.  The day I chose to become a bondservant (one who follows God to complete disregard of their own will, emotions, desire) of the Lord Jesus Christ, I lost control of my life so that He could gain full control of all that I am.

It’s hard, isn’t it?  It’s hard to surrender to God when He calls us to do the hard things—the things which are uncomfortable and challenging and just downright near impossible to our human minds! Dang!  I struggle with that.
I long, with all my heart, to live a sacrificial life–a life which is so completely and utterly abandoned to my God.  But I have such a long way to go, friends.  Some days I get it right, while on other days, I fail so awfully.  It’s so easy to say yes when God calls me to do the things which are in my comfort zone.  But is that enough?  Is it?  What about the hard things?  What about the times when I know with absolute assurance that I MUST say yes to something…but it’s the last thing in the world that I feel like doing?
I must choose to give my life away.
I’ll be honest.  I don’t fully understand that yet.  Though some days I fall into bed at night feeling like I did nothing but cling to my life as I know it, I so desire to live my life in such a way that each and every day I give everything I am.  And to be all God has created me to be, for the sake of following Christ with reckless abandon.
Whew!

I am such a huge work in progress.

You know what I long for?  I long to have the kind of faith which says yes instantly when I hear Him call my name.  I long for the kind of faith that says “Yes, God” before I have even considered the outcome. Because really, the outcome is not my concern, but His.  I long to be able to spring into action when He whispers in my ears to be His hands and feet in any given situation…knowing that I know that He WILL enable me to fulfill the calling on my life.  And should I fail–He will catch me when I fall.

But I also long, with all my heart, to know and understand what it means to give my life away for the sake of someone else.  I want to do the tough things, think less about my own needs and wants, know what it means to sacrifice my time and my energy (and money) for one of God’s beloved children, and to be His servant in a world where people are so desperate, so hurting.

To live sacrificially.

To be a YES person.

To always remember that my life is but a vapor–fleeting.

To live with purpose.

To give…and give some more.

To remind myself every day that IT IS NOT ABOUT ME!

To give my life away without hesitation.

That’s what I long for!

Failing, getting it right, stumbling, falling, getting back up again, seeking….I am learning daily.

“My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”  Gal 2:20

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