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Ups and downs

Haven’s first few days at school have been filled with ups and downs. This is such a huge adjustment for her—everything is strange and new. There are things that she is struggling with. The playground is the most intimidating place. She is completely overwhelmed by it. The teacher has agreed to just keep her in the classroom during recess, at this stage the playground scares the dickens out of her. She WILL NOT use the potty in the classroom, which could be a bit of a problem if we increase the time she spends at school.

She is so behind the other children developmentally—someone recommended preschool for her. That is not really an option as Hannah-Claire cannot go with her to preschool. Right now it is very important for Haven to have her sister with her. My heart aches for Haven, she is like a fish out of water in the classroom. I know it is going to take time. It just breaks my mommy heart.

The teacher has been wonderful. BUT, this is a mainstream Kindergarten class, not special ed. The teacher is not trained in special ed. Does she know how to meet Haven’s needs? I don’t know. I guess only time will tell.

On a positive note—Anthony and I have been researching an option to get Haven ALL the services she needs for FREE, at home! After some phone calls it looks as if we qualify. Anthony has a meeting next week to get more details. What a blessing that would be. We are really trusting it works out. Either Haven could continue with school and get EXTRA therapy at home or, if school does not work out for her, she would still get the services she needs at home. This way we would have more options.

We are almost at our three month anniversary of having Haven. In many ways she has astounded us in the things that she has learned. But, the reality is that something is not right. It could be any of a handful of “conditions”. I know that we are going to have to have her evaluated, I know that we are going to HAVE to have answers—that will help in knowing how to help her. Autism? I have asked the teachers at the school if they see it. Some do, some don’t. Some days we see Autistic-like behavior, other days we think no way! I must say, it is a little unsettling not knowing exactly what is going on in Haven’s brain. Some days I just want answers, other days I just want to wait—maybe once she has a “label” it will seem too permanent.

For now, we will just continue to take one day at a time with Haven….trusting God for the grace and wisdom we need for each day. I look at her and am so grateful that God chose us to be her parents. He never said the journey would be easy, for any of us. But, He did say that tomorrow is not our concern, He is already there. That is where my peace lies!