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when it hurts to notice

There are times in my journey as a mommy when I just don’t have the answers.  Try as I may, I am clueless as to how to handle certain situations as they arise.

The Father has blessed us.  And I mean blessed us! We have two of the most adorable little girls on the planet.  Well, at least we think so.

These two are so different.  Like chalk and cheese really.  The one is SO verbal.  The other completely non-verbal (at nine years of age).  In spite of their differences, they are so very close.  That’s another blessing.

Little sister is so unbelievably more advanced than big sister.  It’s crazy to even look at them and imagine that the taller, bigger sister is actually two years younger.

Recently this precious little sister, who is growing up so quickly, has become a lot more aware of things around her.  She’s more in tune to things that get said, and ways that people behave.  Not a bad thing–except that she has begun to notice.  

She notices that people pay way more attention to her non-verbal sister.

She notices that people care deeply about her sister and how she is coming along.

She notices that most will hug her sister before they even consider hugging her.

She notices when people comment on how beautiful her sister is.

She notices when people will only ask her sister to sit on their laps–and never her.

Boy does she notice now.  Just all of a sudden she just grew up a little.  And the fact that she notices just breaks my heart.

I know all this is probably so normal and just part of growing up. We make such an effort in our home to make sure that each child gets the same amount of attention. But it’s a different story out in public.  Innocently, people just don’t think!  They feel like they have to shower love and hugs on the neediest child–while the others stand aside and watch.  I understand it is a natural reaction.  But to the onlooking kids, it hurts.

I never thought much about it, until recently.  Until my sweet, sweet little girl started feeling so left out. Until the day she started commenting on how, “Everyone loves Haven.” And until the day she started voicing it.

Oh my goodness gracious, some days it is hard being a parent.  It does not matter whether we have two children or ten, the issues we face are all the same.  I remember so clearly only having two children, and dealing with hurt feelings and broken little hearts.  Children have feelings, and those feelings get hurt…often.  There is nothing that we can do to shelter them from the world or from the way that people sometimes are.  But there are days that my mommy-heart just breaks in two when I see them dealing with stuff.  I know you all feel the same as you raise your own children.

Tonight my heart is aching for my youngest daughter.  I wish I could make it all better for her.  I wish I could ask every single person who knows us to be a little more sensitive when it comes to our children–making them all feel loved and cherished.  But I can’t. That’s not my place.

All I can do is pray and ask my Father in heaven to give us a huge amount of wisdom daily.  He says to ask for it, right?  And then I’ll ask Him to wrap His arms around my sweet youngest daughter and hug her tight…reminding her heart that she will always be His princess. 

If you are new to my blog, and you don’t know Haven’s story, you can read it here.